Influence

We can do many things to ingratiate ourselves with people. We can be pleasant. We can smile. We can listen when others talk, really listen.
But if we want to go beyond that and influence them, there is one simple rule: do and say things that promote rather than thumb-down their feelings of importance. This is not done for selfish gain but for positive influence. When we say things that make people feel important, they will like us. If we say things that make people feel less important, they may resent us.
It can be very draining, even self-deprecating, to make another person feel important. This can be a humbling act. It is easy to build ourselves up and not someone else. Yet as we make ourselves less important for the moment in order to build someone else up, we gain in the long run.
Try to make at least one person feel important every day. They hunger for it. Make a comment about a person's good taste in clothes or their skill in handling a problem - there are many ways to make people feel better about themselves. We can learn one of the secrets of leadership when we follow this practice. Leaders make others feel important. In return, leaders are in better position to influence them.